During this time that Leland decided to raise cattle in heaven instead of here on earth, God has been very good to me. I faced the giant of grief and kicked its butt.
I won’t go into it here, but so many miracles filled my life since 2 pm Thursday, April 8, 2021 when Leland changed addresses. I will say this – God did NOT take Leland. God received him and was probably wondering why he was there early.
At one point I asked God if it would be okay if I went on, too. There was no reason to go on this adventure of faith without the one who shared the adventure. His assignment did not get finished and it was not one I could finish. So why stick around?
God asked me to finish my assignment. To finish the book about our love affair (from posts on littleblackdressdiaries.com) because God had sent him to me and even let me know I was getting ready to meet him. God wants people to know He can be their matchmaker (or anything they need) because He wants to be involved in every area of our lives.
THEN He said to take Leland’s notebooks about the angels and the cattle and get that story written – his cowboy angels®. He had so many supernatural things that happened when he asked angels to help him with the cattle. I told him to write them down so he wouldn’t forget.
God then said, “THEN we can talk about you coming on to heaven.”
I think it’s a trap but we’ll see. He might think He can trick me into choosing to stay on. He is forcing my hand by making sure I finish my own assignment. He loves me.
God sent my son and me an incredible man. We only had 27 years one month and 3-1/2 days with him. At one point I said “Oh Josh, it’s awful. I know I will survive and we will always miss him but we didn’t have him long enough!”
He reply, “Mom, we are going to figure this all out! Even if we only had 40 years, 100 years, it would still never be long enough.”
I realized he was right. And it somehow helped. I choose to remain a woman of faith. I choose not to act like a wild woman who doesn’t know her God. I choose to live a supernatural life, honoring this man. I choose not to wallow in grief because grief is a spirit that is not from God. I refuse to go through the world’s stages of grief because I couldn’t find Chapter and Verse about stages of grief in the Bible.
I only have ONE stage, GOD. He sustains me.